Radio Silent

AHHHHHH!

We got dates!!

Do the "Dates Dance" with me guys! yes yes yes Here We Go.

As we go into the next leg of this incredible journey I have to make an announcement that many may not like to hear:

We now must go Radio Silent.

The country we are going to has important privacy laws in place to help protect the child in this process and we want to respect that. Furthermore, any signs of breaking these laws can disrupt this process and end the adoption. No good.

Hang in there.

Once we make it through court we will share all the good news. We truly appreciate all the support and love we have received and do not want to leave you hanging.

Feel free to find a family member or close friend and ask for an update but we can no longer share through the internet until everything is final.


AHHHHHHH!
(did I say that already)


See ya on the other side.

How the D's do waiting

so.

We pretend to relax

no update.

We build/paint book shelves

 just

 We practice our skills

 keep 

We celebrate baby shower day and birthday

waiting.

We go a little crazy

We have been told to be ready for a short notice. We are the NEXT family on the list.

(thinking this means I should probably pack..... got to get on that)

Shirts are here!  If you did not get yours yet- do not panic- be on the lookout Monday and Tuesday.
Don't forget to take a cheesy picture wearing them and upload them to Facebook. (Hey anti-FB friends: you can just email or text them to me.)
You can tag me or Bring Home Baby D.
I am going to put those pics in a photobook for Baby D to look through.

Update:

I am sad to report that NO dates were given out last week.  This was not easy to find out.  I checked my phone every 10 minutes, every day. When Friday came and went, my heart sank.  There are still 3 families listed in front of us. I am hoping that maybe 4 families will get dates next week and that we are one of those 4. I am hoping this date announcement delay just means we will have less notice before we leave and not that our date will be farther away. Just keep chanting, "God's timing is perfect." That's all I can do to stay sane.


With that said, we are still thinking we will be leaving in the next 2-3 weeks.

Trying to start the packing process.

The Astounding T-Shirt Sale Phenomenon of 2013

Click Here to: Buy A Shirt

How am I supposed to respond to this? If you could see my face as I type, delete, stare with wide eyes. Type, delete, and stare some more. 

Here is my best attempt to respond to the astounding phenomenon I witnessed yesterday:

Yesterday on my lunch break I called Hubs and asked, "How long do you think we should say we want to do this t-shirt sale to make sure we get the required minimum of 50 shirts sold?" We discussed and decided we would extend the fundraising to run 10 days and hopefully we could get 50 by then. I hit launch and went to microwave my taco soup. Sitting there eating, I looked to see if anyone has checked out the site yet- 2 shirts sold! In 2 minutes! I was elated. We can get 50 in 10 days! Let's do this.

Going room to room, talking to patients and my phone is buzzing off the wall in my coat. I slyly sneak a peak. My friends are a buzz- We've sold 49. I drop a quick FB shout out about # 50 and keep talking about why fried chicken and gravy is not an ideal breakfast food to a patient with Diabetes. My thoughts are really elsewhere. 50! In one day!

I run to "take a bathroom break". 30 people have shared the link on FB already. It's going viral. My phone keeps buzzing, "68"  "You're at $6000!" "This is crazy"  "79!!" "80 and counting" The texts were pouring in.

I am trying to text everyone back but my hands are shaking. 

The final count for DAY 1:

151 Shirts

$9381.00

911 Facebook Likes

38 Link Shares on Facebook

2 Tweets 

9 Pins on Pinterest

The money is one thing. I am thankful and it is very needed. But the support and encouragement. Man. That's what is choking me up. My kindergarten buddy, a friend I would ride my bike up and down the block with pretending we had our driver’s license and were dating members of Ace of Base, shared my link and spread the word.  Dear friends in Kansas, rallied in support. High School peps made shout outs and linked up the site. Fairmont Park was all over the place with links and donations. Old college buddies advocated for this cause and encouraged others to join.  With each share, post, like, sale, donation, and kind word my heart grew a little more and by midnight it was ready to burst!

For a couple who spent the last year struggling with feelings regarding our worthiness and identity- yesterday rocked us!

Thank you!

Hubs and I love you and are so thankful for you friendships and support. We are very blessed. Thank you for the outpouring of love!

9 Days Left. ;)

Wait for it

Urban Dictionary defines the phrase “Wait for it” –

A sentence-enhancing phrase, used to illustrate the epicness of an object/situation/event.

Being officially submitted indeed elicited celebration and relief; it also pushed us into a season of wait.  One waiting mom made a chart in our online support group that lists out all the people submitted, when they got travel dates, and when they actually traveled.  This Type-A chart, while helpful for getting an idea of when we might receive dates and travel, is also a thorn in my side.  As of today, 15 families are listed ahead of us! I look daily.

‘Did anyone else get dates today? When did they travel? How many weeks did they wait? Where would that put us if we had that long of a wait?’

I count and recount the different templates for possible travel dates and obsess. BACK AWAY FROM THE CHART WOMAN!

Right now we are- WAIT FOR IT-

8-12 weeks until we get on a plane to fly to our lil’ man.

Never have I been more confused about a measurement of time. I cannot decide if that is really soon or very far away.  Sometime I wake up, mind racing, in disbelief that there is only 8 weeks left.  SO MUCH TO DO! Then the next morning I flop slowly out of bed, whining that 12 weeks is sooooooooooooo far away. I cannot wait any longer!

Waiting it out. I don’t know if I am waiting well but every day we get up to wait some more.  I know everyone wants an update…. WE DO TOO!

 Like us, you must wait for it.

Meanwhile, we have 2-3 months to get ready.  I am nesting. Baby D is all a can talk about, think about, or plan about.  While brushing my teeth, I realize I need to find a pediatric dentist and wonder how to brush toddler’s teeth.  In the shower, I make mental lists of bath-stuff we need and wonder if he is going to dislike baths like many adoptive mom’s have blogged about. At dinner, I consider all the feeding options and wonder what bottles/Sippy cups I should pack.  This pattern continues on with driving, cleaning, going out with friends, church, putting my shoes on, etc. etc.

24/7 Baby D thoughts.

I do not know if I can justly illustrate the epicness of this situation. 8-12 weeks.

I told her to make a 'Waiting Face'- Nailed it Roo!

Sending off the last piece!

Baby Bye Bye Bye!

How we got assigned Officer Jack Bauer

The only logical explanation: It must have been Jack Bauer working on our immigration case.


WE GOT USCIS APPROVAL. Our officer CALLED ME this morning to tell me the news.

A process that I was told, on more than one occasion, by several USCIS employees, should take 75 days.

24 hours. Jack Bauer style. 

Although he sounded pretty much like a woman and told me a different name. Which was kind of confusing...... but I knew it was him. He is sneaky like that.

At first I said I had no words, but then I realized I haven't shut up about this news all morning. Evidently I have lots of words.  The next question everyone is asking: What does this mean, Carly..... What's next?

A season of waiting.
We wait to hear the words that we have been officially submitted. This could happen sometime in the next two weeks.  We have been sending over our dossier in bits and pieces so that the team there could work on them and translate them. They will have 5 pieces of paper to add now and then they will take all of my paper baby to the court.
We wait to hear our Court Date or Travel Date.  This is the long wait. After being submitted it usually takes 7-11 weeks to find out your court date.  The Court date is usually 2-4 weeks later.
To simplify: We might be traveling in about 13-15 weeks.
So this means I should start looking for winter coats......

Also, credit where credit is due. 24 hours = God's handiwork. That has His name all over it. He must have stirred Jack Bauer's heart to get involved.

State Clearance, USCIS and Jack Donaghy

State/FBI Clearance update:

Just got off the phone with Shirley (new friend over at the state dept):

Fingerprints were received and the clearance was put in the mail TODAY!

Let the dancing begin!


USCIS update:

They accepted our application this time. Excellent. It is still in route to the National Benefit Center, which they call NBC. The man on the phone only laughed a little at my joke asking if Jack Donaghy  was going to be my assigned officer or if I could request Liz Lemon instead.  Everyone start praying that the 75 day estimate for processing/approval he gave me is more like 2 weeks.   I want Christmas snuggles people!!!

Shaking him off

Florence + The Machine

We got up early on Friday morning and got re-fingerprinted for the state/FBI clearance.
The next morning in the mail-box I found a giant envelope from the USCIS. Is this happening? Soo fast? We are already approved?! How can it be?! My heart was pounding. 
NOPE. Bump-Bump.
They sent back EVERYTHING. During the process of applying they updated their forms.  

"The application was filled out on an outdated version of this form.  Please resubmit your application on the current version of this form with the appropriate fees."

We re-sent in, for the 3rd time, our USCIS application, on the "updated" form. Which, oh by the way, is exactly-100%-the same as the version we sent in. Even down to the typos. The only difference is the small revision date on the bottom right corner. hmmm. But we obeyed.

Now we are waiting again.

Thanks friends and family for the encouragement and support over the weekend. I was caught off guard with the amount of doubt and frustration these back-to-back bumps brought to the surface. Community had my back, though.

Gonna shake him off and keep dancing.

Bump

I made a rookie mistake.  Back in May, we went to get fingerprinted for our state and FBI background checks.  I had heard it can take 5-7 weeks so I wanted to check this off my list early.

Remember when I was saying I needed to slow my roll........

I should have listened to myself.

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting to receive the notarized copy of the report.  I was not stressed. We had other major things to wait before we were ready to submit. No biggie.

Biggie.

I was waiting for something that was never coming.  I had filed for fingerprints under some Adam Walsh Act instead of the boring ole international adoption application. Why did I file this way- because this was the paperwork given to me by our SW doing the HS. She needed background checks for the HS.   But under this heading- THEY WILL NOT SEND YOU THE RESULTS. PERIOD.

Conversations on the phone with Shirley (S) this morning at the State Dept.  

ME: Shirley

S: MMMHMM.

Me: I have given you my name. The account number. And you are telling me you found the report.

S: MMMHHMM.

Me: Print out that report. Notarize it. Send it to me. PLEASE!

S: I Can't.

ME: Shirley, IT IS RIGHT THERE. YOU ARE READING IT NOW.  Hit the print button. Walk over to your secretary's desk to have her/him notarize it and put it in the mail. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

S: Sweetie, you have to redo it.

Me: But why, when you guys already did it?  You have it. It is done. What a waste of time, resources, your money and my money.

S: It's that Adam Walsh Act you filed it under. 

CRYING. (me not shirley)

S: Dont Cry.

Me: Shirley, I'm not mad at you. I just do NOT understand. You see, my baby.... my baby.....is stuck oversea's with special needs. No one helping him learn to talk. No one helping him learn to walk.  He has DS. What if he has a heart condition?  Everyone keeps asking me if it is difficult to work with the *** government (Baby D's country). But the truth is the only people making me cry is Texas and the US.  

Crying. (Shirley this time.)

Me: I'm sorry Shirley. It's not your fault. This is just our first major bump. I just do not understand. It seems so simple to fix.

S: You will get over the bump sweetie. Just go redo it ASAP.

BUMP.

home study in hand

Email from the SW this morning:

"Hi Carly, I just wanted to be sure you received the packet. It shows as delivered but I wanted to confirm since we don't require signatures. Thanks!"


WHAT?

A Completed Home Study

"What do we do with it?"

Behold- $1200 worth of paper work. 

We will run to UPS today send it to the USCIS and then WAIT IMPATIENTLY for their approval.

Unless

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

VS




What a difference Love and Support makes.
UNLESS.
Well, I care an awful lot.


Come on Home Study. 2 weeks today. I am hoping our social worker sends us a draft to read over next week.  Our state side facilitator can then proof it and if it looks good.......


AUSTIN. First we have to get the home study apostilled. Then it is goes to the USCIS.

Then we WAIT AGAIN. boo. We wait for the USCIS to approve everything and schedule us a finger printing appointment. (Sadly this process as been taking longer than usual. One persistent mamma recently kept on receiving delays so she had her senator write a letter on her behalf to speed it along. I am willing to resort to similar tactics if necessary)

Then we send  that approval and home study across the ocean, to Baby D's home land, and wait for them to announce our court/travel dates.

I really would like to celebrate Christmas with my baby. Like A WHOLE AWFUL LOT.

Warm fuzzy feelings thinking about that---Christmas with my baby.  Dwelling there a moment.

Still Dwelling.

Closer.

My Paper Baby made it across the pond and is now in the correct hands in the country where my Human Baby waits. Get Excited!

We now our waiting for the social worker to write up the Home Study (2-3 weeks) and then we will submit to the USCIS for US immigration (can take up to 75 days). Once we get that green light we submit Home Study and USCIS approval to our baby's country and wait for travel dates.

Closer.

Baby D's freshly painted closet. It is ready to be stocked up  with Baby D essentials.

How the D's do Home Study Day

7:30- Shower. Clean. Print out our Evacuation Plan and pics of the floor plan since we forgot to do this last night. Straighten, organize and quickly mop the floors.

8:45 -I hear the click-clack of the doggy door and for some reason think "eeeee...I hope Roo doesn't get muddy." Two minutes later I realize I have jinxed myself. Click-Clack. She bolts back through the door with mud dripping from her bearded mouth and chunks of grass and dirt trailing her every step. The social worker said she would arrive between 9 and 9:30. Remain Calm! Hubs scrubs her face and paws while I pin them both into the laundry room with the new baby gate we got to impress the SW. I quickly sweep/mop  the trail she left in her dart through the house. We regroup, pour ourselves another cup of coffee, and station ourselves to the couch so we can hear the awaited knock (We really need a door bell).

9:45- SW calls. Her plane is stuck taxing, waiting for a gate. I curse Southwest for the first time in my life. We jump into the car to pick up a cheese/cracker and veggie plate from HEB in an effort to curb her hunger. I do not intend for her to do this home study cranky with low blood sugar.

10:15- Once home, we return to our stations on the couch. Every vehicle that passes Hubs jumps up to check to see who it is.  We pour more coffee. In hindsight, we probably over did the caffeine but at the time it felt right.

Peeking to see if the next vehicle is her. False Alarm.

10:45- SW texts Hubs that she is picking up her rental car. We each make a run through of the house again to see what else we can straighten or hide. I was not that nervous earlier, but the waiting is giving me time to over think.

11:00 - Still perched on couch. Walking nervously between rooms to peek trough windows. 

11:30- Car pulls into driveway. I awkwardly cannot figure out where I should sit. I jump back and forth between couch and chair..... wondering how long I should wait after she knocks before opening the door. She knocks. I mistakenly choose to open the door too quick... mid-knock. Awkward. We greet and discover she had tried a new airline and did NOT fly Southwest. I knew it, Southwest would not do me dirty like that.

11:40-1:30 HOME STUDY SLAM DOWN

She assessed, asked, prodded, warned, admonished, encouraged and then deemed us FIT to be parents of a special needs child from Eastern Europe. 

I made a point to drop Dr. Purvis into convo a couple times since I know how social workers love them some Connected Child.  The social worker was wonderful! She has a heart for adoption and has worked with Eastern Europe and RR before. We feel like we are in good hands. She also ended the study with a great and GLORIOUS sentence: "Give me 2 1/2 to 3 weeks." WHAT?!? I was warned that this might take 6-8 weeks. I will give you 2-3 weeks with pleasure.

2:00 Made it to the 2 pm showing of Super Man - Man of Steel. 

Celebrating another finished step with  my Super Man. 

Thanks everyone for covering today with your prayers and thoughts. We felt it and appreciated it. 

Loving a Paper Baby

So here you are looking forward to a post about perhaps loving a baby that I only know on paper- which is indeed true- but not what this is about.
I said goodbye to my paper baby today; sent it on a journey that is now out of my hands. It is hard to let go.

40 documents. Signed. Notarized. Apostilled. Now traveling overnight, alone, to its next destination.

The scared UPS man sealed the envelope while I instructed him for about the 5th time how I might DIE if this gets lost. I have been reading all about attachment issues and adoptions, but I have yet to come across the chapter regarding the attachment issues related to these paper babies.

The trip to Austin was quick and successful. For something I had never heard of before, apostilling seems to be a pretty legit and frequently used government service.

Next we went and saw Baby D's Aunt Amanda. Heart Happy.

Apostilling my paper babies And Hugging this girl......
Good Day Indeed!

Mom spent the week busy doing her Mom thing- making lists and organizing a game plan.  We tackled a couple projects, including an impromptu painting of Baby D's closet. At one point, I walked into the living room and found her with the couch pulled out from the wall cleaning the baseboards. Baseboards were not on my list but somehow they must of made it onto Mom's. Word on the street is that a home study does not equal a white glove inspection but it can't hurt to have a good first impression right?

Friday is the day.
I have some tricks up my sleeve.....
1. Go with the eyelids
2. Offer a snack
3. Bring the A game

We got this.

Keep Calm........

via wondermentet.com

Today I am simply linking you up to another adoptive mom who expresses herself better than me. *I know that seems impossible.* She already has her son home now but this is a glimpse back into her journey. A post she wrote along the way that reminds me of where we are at.  I appreciated and related to her heart.

http://wondermentetc.com/2013/01/15/adoption-process-update/

My new job

Bring Home Baby D Central- and remnants of my PBJ from lunch. 

Just reflecting that  leaving my job was all part of God's plan.  Here is my new place of work. It has two locations: Here you see -Bring home Baby D Central, but there is also a mobile unit, AKA the Honda.

Yes- Good eye. That is a cup of coffee next to a diet coke.  I am getting a baby AND I do not have to give up caffeine. HECK YES.
 I sign, scan, email, take a sip of coffee and then do that over again but alternate with the diet coke. Scanning and downloading documents one at a time. Scanning. Scanning. Scanning. 

3 weeks.

3 fast but somehow long, exhilarating but indeed frustrating, weeks.

ONLY 3!

I need to get a hold of myself because adoption is a long process and we have only just began this race.

And I do feel like on some level it is race. Now that I know WHO we are doing this for, every day that goes by I feel like I am racing against time.  The days are winning this race. Another day just sprinted by where I did not get to hold him, love him, cuddle him, play with him, or help him develop. Slow your roll woman. We have many months ahead of us. 

We went to the doctor and found out we are relatively healthy.  HIV, Syphilis, and TB free- Yipee!

We went to the county appraisal office- twice.

We went the Chase bank for mortgage proof.

We went to the church to notarize paperwork.

Found out my passport number on the paperwork was wrong. (Something I probably should have checked pre-notary). 

Church secretary re-notarized everything.

Scanned everything into state-side facilitator.

Found out Jon's issuing passport provider was wrong. (Again Carly.... PROOF READ.)

Went to bank and got paperwork re-notarized.

Scanned new paperwork into facilitator.

Found out the word passport was spelled PASSORT on our documents. (Are you kidding me?-When will I learn.)

Went to a different bank and got paperwork re-notarized.

Scan.

Paper work submitted to our facilitator state-side approved..... feeling good!

Home appraisal form rejected due to lack of address stamp. 

Went back to county appraisals office.

Scan.

Paper work APPROVED from both facilitators. 

Whats Next?

Get an apostille for the documents.

Mom (super glad she is coming) and I will drive to Austin on Monday for a walk in appointment to hand deliver my paper-babies for the Sec of State to provide an apostille for them. When I called the office for more information I learned:

a) I was saying it wrong (embarrassed much). It is pronounced uh-pos-til. I was saying it uh-pos-il. You know, like the 12 apostles. :) She was quick to correct me. 

b) The turn around is 30 mins for a walk in appointment or 10 days -not including mail time- if you mail it in.

Decision made- Walk in it is- my roll will not slow!

And Then:

Mom and I return home to prepare for the Home study Friday June 14.

Plus Summer is OVER > School is back in session.