The Astounding T-Shirt Sale Phenomenon of 2013

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How am I supposed to respond to this? If you could see my face as I type, delete, stare with wide eyes. Type, delete, and stare some more. 

Here is my best attempt to respond to the astounding phenomenon I witnessed yesterday:

Yesterday on my lunch break I called Hubs and asked, "How long do you think we should say we want to do this t-shirt sale to make sure we get the required minimum of 50 shirts sold?" We discussed and decided we would extend the fundraising to run 10 days and hopefully we could get 50 by then. I hit launch and went to microwave my taco soup. Sitting there eating, I looked to see if anyone has checked out the site yet- 2 shirts sold! In 2 minutes! I was elated. We can get 50 in 10 days! Let's do this.

Going room to room, talking to patients and my phone is buzzing off the wall in my coat. I slyly sneak a peak. My friends are a buzz- We've sold 49. I drop a quick FB shout out about # 50 and keep talking about why fried chicken and gravy is not an ideal breakfast food to a patient with Diabetes. My thoughts are really elsewhere. 50! In one day!

I run to "take a bathroom break". 30 people have shared the link on FB already. It's going viral. My phone keeps buzzing, "68"  "You're at $6000!" "This is crazy"  "79!!" "80 and counting" The texts were pouring in.

I am trying to text everyone back but my hands are shaking. 

The final count for DAY 1:

151 Shirts

$9381.00

911 Facebook Likes

38 Link Shares on Facebook

2 Tweets 

9 Pins on Pinterest

The money is one thing. I am thankful and it is very needed. But the support and encouragement. Man. That's what is choking me up. My kindergarten buddy, a friend I would ride my bike up and down the block with pretending we had our driver’s license and were dating members of Ace of Base, shared my link and spread the word.  Dear friends in Kansas, rallied in support. High School peps made shout outs and linked up the site. Fairmont Park was all over the place with links and donations. Old college buddies advocated for this cause and encouraged others to join.  With each share, post, like, sale, donation, and kind word my heart grew a little more and by midnight it was ready to burst!

For a couple who spent the last year struggling with feelings regarding our worthiness and identity- yesterday rocked us!

Thank you!

Hubs and I love you and are so thankful for you friendships and support. We are very blessed. Thank you for the outpouring of love!

9 Days Left. ;)

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Thanks for thinking of us!

Advantage us

"The only way to care for the disadvantaged – is to disadvantage yourself –which is guaranteed to turn out for your advantage."

-Ann Voskamp

Here is the deal. I love that everyone thinks I am awesome. Mainly, because 1) it might be true 2) the encouragement is appreciated 3) My self-esteem has greatly improved (something I sometimes struggle with). HOWEVER,  the response I hear frequently after sharing our story is, "You guys are awesome." or "He is so lucky."  I get that sometimes people might be at a loss for words and this feels like a good place to start.  I mean really, what is the appropriate response to finding out about the orphan crisis in Eastern Europe and then hearing we want to adopt a child with DS?

Can I confess a little something? I feel a little burdened by the awesomeness. I love the encouragement  but let me interject with a quick disclaimer. While I do whole heartedly believe we are saving his life, he in return, is saving mine.
We will never require him to be grateful for what we have done. We are grateful he is ours. He is my gift from God. 

We struggle with awesomeness.  There are days I fall quite short of it actually. Days and weeks where I wrestle with this decision and my future. Moments where I do or say completely un-awesome things to my husband or think less than awesome of the people around me. Once Baby D is home there will be days where I am frustrated with him and parenting in general.  I can only imagine the  amount of awesomely-bad-parenting-decisions I will make.  Thankfully, our AWESOME GOD  can supply grace over all this awesome unawesomeness.

Further, what would be truly awe-inspiring is if we could turn a country upside in their structure and beliefs so that families would be equipped and encouraged to keep their babies with special needs in the first place. That his mama, and the other mama's, would not be afraid or shamed by their baby's extra chromosome or disabilities and be given the tools and education to love and raise their children. I feel like we are simply putting a band-aid over a dehiscing wound that needs someone to suture it up.

The other response I frequently get is "Could you guys not have kids of your own" or "Do you struggle with infertility?" or The best one yet.... Ready..... it is good:

"Do you not want to try for your own kids first?"

Well nosy-pants. We do struggle with infertility. The journey through infertility has been bumpy and long but it led us to a place where our heart were open to this adoption- for which I am incredibly grateful.  But I have news:

This not our replacement child. THIS IS OUR OWN CHILD.

Adoption is not just a call for the infertile.

Who knows how or when God will choose to grow our family in the future?

The bottom line here: Advantage us.

Buying the field

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

I found it. And it is confusing, and a little much for some to watch because for the FIRST TIME EVER, I am truly willing to joyfully sell everything and buy the field.

First time?! 

For years I have been approaching God with my first held tight to certain areas of my life. I knew that if I really had an honest conversation with Him, He would ask me about them. 

"What'cha got there?" 

So I limited the chatter. We could have a quick chat at church. I could drop Him a Thank You here and there. Maybe discuss a sick kid I was taking care at work or sing some praise songs, but I was careful what topics we approached. Songs or whispers about surrendering everything made me uncomfortable  Lifting hands high, proclaiming Him King got me nervous. He could wreck shop. I have read Irresistible Revolution and Radical. I know what happens to people who say things like that.  

What would my life look like? 

Deep down, I knew it would look different.

Saying Yes to this adoption started the conversation up again. I am loosening my grip and letting him peek at the treasures clinched in my fist.  I mean, really he knew what was there all along right.

What I have found was unexpected. I now say "I surrender all" and then not only expect him to wreck shop, but desperately want him to.  I did not understand before. When you find the Kingdom of heaven you buy the whole field and YOU WANT TO. This is not driven by guilt or fear of what He expects of me. It is driven by the JOY of finding the treasure in the field in first place. 

Can I get a little mmmhhhhhmmmm... AMEN!?

I am buying the field.  It is going to marvelously wreck our lives.