Walk Freely

Sometimes it confuses me, you know. There is this fine line I try to tiptoe along, arms stretched out from my side, wobbling back and forth. When I finally start to feel my footing secure, confident in who I am, who God calls me to be and what God is doing through me; suddenly I lean back the other way, squirming unbalanced between worried I am arrogant, then almost falling off altogether by the weight of disbelief in myself. (Which really is a disbelief in something/someone bigger, right?)

My struggle with insecurity and self-esteem is no secret.
Amazing Grace. It is true it is amazing. The whole point is that we didn't deserve it, we didn't earn it, God gave it.  This is the truth BUT that is not the end of the story.

HE CHOSE YOU. He believes in you enough to send his Holy Spirit to live inside of you. He calls you his daughter.

He believes in you. You were created to be you. When we come into the kingdom (or insert whatever over-used christian culture cliche here you prefer) He doesn't say: Well thats good cuz you were junk before….
HE says HALLELUJAH!  I created her. I loved her before. I love her still.  I love her always.

He made you unique. With such purpose. WITH SUCH LOVE.

I think sometimes
sometimes
We dwell in this realm of broken. We get stuck at the "we are all sinners" camp site and set up camp making us some burnt marshmallows wishing we could do more. Giving cynical judgmental stares at the women and men out doing "BIG" things. We linger around acting like we don't deserve more. We forget to move forward to rest in the peace that He thinks we do.

Grace. We don't deserve it. We cannot earn it. This is suppose to be liberating. It is for FREEDOM that Christ set us free. Not to feel in chained by grace or darkness. By a before or the after.  When the after is not all rainbows and unicorns we tend to question the authenticity of our encounter that brought us out of the before.

Grace is not a one time event. It cannot be confined or defined in before and after parameters. This kind of love, this remarkable grace, cannot be contained.
It sets us FREE.

Oh to embrace the freedom of grace. We are free to be the unique and wonderful daughters of the KING.

Not arrogantly, but confidently walking. Walking through our stories. My story includes a journey of faith.  Some days I still struggle with this walk. With my story. With my faith.
Yet I am set free. I am free to be me in the fullest way. He chose me. He loves me.
Balanced.
He steadies my tittering as I walk along. He reminds me I need not stretch out my arms side to side- an inefficacious reach to steady myself. I can stretch my arms high, waving in praise and redemption. Confident to walk freely in who He made me and in what He calls me to.

He loves you AS IS. That's not arrogant. Because THAT IS FOR EVERYONE! That is for YOU!


(Shout out to my son who is reminding me about being loved AS IS daily. Woot Woot Little Man)

The love of Christ

I test it.

I jump far

too wide

climb strong

too high

run faster

too long

fall hard

and it’s deep.

Raise my hand high

stretch out on my tip toes

I feel it brush the tips of my outstretched fingers

I lose my balance.

Knowledge, my expected companion, has tripped me.

My mind manipulates, calculates.

But it surpasses

Dangling from the branch

Grasp it.

Requires strength

Sink my teeth

sweet juice spills from my mouth

Be full.

May you have power, together with the entire Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:18

Stop

image via Courage-Hope-Strength

Go ahead and Enjoy yourself. Stop being a victim and start being a Conqueror. Women (and sometimes guys) have what my hubs and I dubbed the Victim-Complex. It is like we have to prove that our life is the most difficult to establish the idea we are stronger than others. Or maybe it makes us feel like we have an excuse when life doesn't work out just as we wanted. I don't think we even realize we are doing it. Posting things on facebook. Trying to top each others bad work day stories. And now-a-days every person I meet was mad fun of in high school. Which they probably all were because it is high school, filled with guess what- TEENAGERS. (Megan Fox reports she was even ridiculed. You have to say if hot mess MeggyMeg can't make it out of high school without being made fun of- WHO CAN?)
 Is it because we think that is what we deserve? Are we embarrassed to say I love my job? Are we afraid people will say, "who is she that she thinks she gets to enjoy life?"  You are good enough for a good day, a GREAT day, a loving husband, a compassionate mom, a job well done, hilarious friends, a lazy day where you never changed out of your pj's. You are good enough. If you had a bad day, that stinks. I hate bad days, the ones that everything is going wrong. You could cry at any moment. You are literally considering growling at a co-worker. It is not what you deserve though. If you are having a bad day every day..... I would look into that. That doesn't make you stronger than others or a harder worker than others. It might be time for some CH-CH-CH-Changes. Changes in your job, friends, or maybe your Spirit/Attitude. You are also good enough for help if you need it. Ask for it. Because when it comes down to it- We are all survivors. Amanda beautifully reminded a friend after what was truly a very bad day, that we are all more than CONQUERORS! (Romans 8:37). Instead of competing against each other to be the victim, share with each other how we are conquerors.
Have a Great day today and if you do, feel free to share that news. Let me know so I can enjoy the news too!

Self Confi-dunce

A must read for us that have our struggles with confidence! Loved it...

Basically I love this website. I hesitated to share this link because this site is my secret obsession :) (co-founded by Zoey Deschanel how cannot it not be addicting)

but the article had to be shared.

Go...........

Self Confi-dunce