Friday, November 16, 2012

The reality of an over-sharer


My dad is not a fan of the "internets". I will never worry about him creeping my facebook page or writing an embarrassing twitter. I can understand why. Sometimes it is startling all the private things in our life we  choose to make so public. Almost seems narcissistic. I recently read in Reader's Digest (which my dad is a fan of and in fact renews my subscription to every year) that there is quite a bit of controversy over photos people upload on Facebook.  From what I understand, once you upload them, Facebook and the entities you "like" basically have the rights to them. Makes me reconsider my blogging and Facebook addiction.... for only a moment.
When it comes to blogging, I often laugh at myself for being egocentric enough to think the world wide web wants to hear from me. How I consider that my fascinating life, crafts, thoughts, and musings need to be shared. Sitting here sharing my life with strangers. I don't even know if they have kind faces!
And once I saw Julie and Julia, the fantasies began spiraling. Mr. Movie Director should be emailing me any day now to discuss the contract for a screen play based on my blog/life. OK... maybe not a movie... but for sure a publisher is going to want  me to write a book.
 I rarely even keep up with this blog. It has no direction, theme, continuity, or consistency. Why do I continue to get such a high from hitting Publish for a new post?
Pride.
Insecurity.
Probably both.
But I also think I have always been a chronic over-sharer. I spill the beans on secrets and sins usually the first night of going to a new small group.  Word-vomit regret is a daily emotion I encounter. That tight knot in your belly you get when you walk away from a conversation saying "why did I tell them that?" happens at this once a day. I am grateful that I have a thing for "awkward moments" since I classically create them daily.
I value transparency but do I cross the line into over-divulging.
Aaaahh. There I go over- sharing and over-thinking.



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