Be Jovial

Trying to be jovial are we?

This is gonna shock the socks right off some people who knew me long ago, back when I was President or Vice President of practically every club/social group at my small private school, but the truth is that I am quite insecure and struggle with social anxiety.
I have left many of you staring now at your bare toes, socks off!
In college, I found myself biting my nails (never did it before and now can’t kick it) on Sundays in the church auditorium.
What am I suppose to say?
What kind of conversation am I suppose to have here?
Do they really want to talk to me or am I time filler why they wait for someone else?
Plus as you read through the blog, you will discover that I excel at being awkward. 
This social anxiety remains to this day. Where I will sit in my car before social gatherings, giving myself motivational inner speeches before entering the premises. 
'GAME FACE ON CROCKETT- LET'S DO THIS!'

Then after 5 years of doing life as a ridiculously cute power couple, the hubs and I decided we were ready to enhance not just our world but also, really everybody’s world, with some pint-sized Durham’s. I am mean that's how its done right? You decide you are ready and then start popping out babies. That's how it seemed to work.
3 years later and no real good reason, this still has not happened.
A whole new chapter of insecurity entered my life with the intimidating title Infertility. Here is where when I found the blogging world.  As my fridge door became disguised with everyone else’s baby shower invitations and birth announcements, I would find myself seeking refuge and resource by reading blog after blog of women struggling with me in this voyage.

Then when God planted a seed in Hubs heart to go to Ukraine and adopt a child with special needs, blogs became my lifeline.  We did not know anyone who had taken this journey before; we were unfamiliar with adoption. In fact, I am pretty sure I still say the word dossier wrong, because while I typed it a whole lot online, I have never heard it said out loud! Our community at home WAS PRICELESS and overwhelmingly supportive, but our online adoptive community helped guide us ina way that only those who have journeyed before can.

So let’s wrap this never-ending story up shall we?
I decided to blog to help me overcome my insecurities and embrace a jovial state of mind.  To open up a little and expose some of the journey we have been through so I might be able to share some refuge and resource to others as this was once done for me. Insecurities SUCK- and I want other women to feel empowered and encouraged that they are BEAUTIFUL and have a God pursuing them- that thinks they ARE WORTH IT even when they are going through times that make them feel otherwise.  Here you can find out “How the D’s do things”.  Our way is not necessarily the right way, or even the best way, but maybe you can find a little humor or encouragement within them to help you be jovial and empowered as you navigate your own story through the different chapters it is taking you.  

Little Man is great for social events. When I feel awkward I just pretend that he needs my attention! Who knew kids were so useful?!?!




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